So, here I am, sitting in my temporary office in Arizona, knowing that if there were a mirror that showed what my energy looked like the picture would be something like this...
Imagine, an adorable little old cartoon lady who, before landing on the floor upside down turtle style, was walking along wonderfully. She had her shit together, or at least she thought she did. She was so focused on getting to where she was going, (likely her rocking chair so she could knit some more badass slippers), that she was avoiding looking down where she knew there were big Lego pieces scattered from the Grandkids last visit. (Translation - gosh dang obstacles!).
Not only did she trip, but she toppled right over and landed on her back, staring at the ceiling.
Now, for those of you who have ever fallen, you might relate when I say that there is a moment in time before you land on whatever part of you is going to break your fall where you think, "This is going to suck". Well, I didn't have that mentality. Rather, I thought to myself, "This needs to happen". And I can tell you that I landed right on my self-confidence. BOOM! Crack! SmAsH! (Yes, my life sounds like an old Batman episode).
Back to the story!!
"Fuuuuuuck!!! Son of a BEACH!" - Yells the still adorable, and slightly more badass cartoon old lady.
She then proceeds to lay on her back, taking a breath and gathering her dignity, one inhale at a time. Some time passes and the little old lady is still there, on the floor, where she had fallen. She doesn't call out for help. Rather, she lays there and looks up at the ceiling thinking, "It's so far away".
Some time passes and she has to pee, like any cartoon old lady inevitably would have to do. (Translation: She has a need, and to fulfill that need, she has to brave the Lego's and get up. PS I am 28 and probably pee more than any cartoon old lady I know). She starts to look around, brainstorming how she could get up, sees a few ways, and then decides they will be too hard. She feels defeated. If the little old lady were being honest with herself in this moment, she might recognize that she is afraid. Afraid that if she gets up, she may very well fall down again. She's not ready for that.
After a while, her bladder fills more, and the need to pee becomes stronger. Merin (this is what I am calling the little old lady now), decides to ask for help. So she calls out, "Help, help! I've fallen! Someone please help me!" Into the room run her friends, her business coaches, (Merin is a Highly Awesome Woman with a Highly Awesome Business, of course), her colleagues, and all of the amazing people in her life. There are A LOT!
They try to give her a hand, a pull, a push, encouraging words, life affirming realizations, but with each, "almost there", Merin pulls back and falls back to the ground. You see, she hasn't yet decided she is going to get up. She is still afraid of the possibility of falling again, even with all of these beautiful people there to support her. "Help!", she yells again, "I've fallen and I WON'T get up!"
People start to pull away. They stop pushing and pulling, and they just leave their hands outstretched recognizing she will reach out and pull herself up when she is ready. Merin feels deep gratitude for them, and continues to stare at the ceiling.
It's Thursday, and she gets a Facebook message on her smart phone... because that happens all the time when you are on the floor, fearful of the Lego brick doom. One of her AMAZING clients shares a breakthrough she has had. This client is freaking out about being seen, and possibly falling, but she is stepping out and doing it anyway. Merin thinks to herself, "That's inspiring, and she is overcoming a fear that I am afraid of as well".
In that moment, a colleague reaches out and asks, "What are you afraid of, Merin?" And she answers with, "I'm afraid of falling and not being able to get back up". And the Universe chimes in and says, "All you have to do is CHOOSE to get back up and you will be able to".
With that, Erin... whoops, MERIN (Me, Erin), decides to stand. She connects herself with all of the wonderful people around her, and uses her own force, her own energy, and the collective belief in her from her loves ones to energize the belief in herself. With one swift, WHOOSH, she's up and bonking her head on the ceiling. It's only a matter of time before she breaks that shit open and flies free in the sky.
What a great story, hey?! The glorious part about it is that the transformation happened as I wrote this. So, do you see how setting an intention to get yourself up when you have fallen is just as powerful leading up to the part when you actually stand again?
Loving you up,
Fearless Leader for the Highly Awesome