It was raining. She crept quietly into my room, carrying all of my secrets with her. Everything I had abandoned on that Island months before. Everything I had swept under the carpet for so long before then. And everything I had yet to acknowledge in this long and beautiful life of mine.
The difference from times she visited me before is that this time I let her in. She was necessary. Resistance was here to teach me something. To show me that I heal just like everyone else. She wanted me to recognize that the wounds I have experienced are much like my client's wounds, and that my healing the experiences in my life would leave me with that much more to offer the people I am here to support.
So I let her in. She crawled into bed with me and we lay together, silent, but knowing what each other wanted to say. I held her hand and I let her tell me the things I needed to hear in order to "allow" myself to stay in bed. It had been a long time coming since I had rested, the real rest that many of us don't give ourselves permission to take part in. I needed her to make me feel small so I could stay put, feel the ebb and flow of these emotions, and rise up again to see how big I really am.
For the first time in a long time, I gave in. I let go, accepted my fate with resistance, and trusted that I would come out on the other end with something learned, something gained and so many things to share through my being and through my work. I needed her.
She stayed with me for day, although it felt like weeks she had been knocking at the door and I had ignored her; disregarding her message. Letting her cries go unnoticed, seeming unimportant.
This time, she stayed. We spoke of days passed and days to come. We dreamed and cried, embraced and gave up, accepted and rejected, and let the energy rule our time together.
Then it was time for her to go. She didn't say goodbye. One day I woke up, motivated, safe, connected, inspired and... alone. She had done her job and it was time for me to get up and move forward with my message, my life, and my being.
I was ready. I AM ready. And I am taking action.
How has resistance shown up in your life? What is his/her message? What is he/she trying to show you?
And, most importantly, are you listening?
Fearless Leader of the Highly Awesome